Grumpy the internet sensation cat has died.I.M Pei,the acclaimed architect who designed  the Louvre’s pyramid in Paris is dead.These news make you dig on the past.The pain of losing someone.What effect it can bring to the family and towards others-the emotion is unimaginable.

We all are headed to that destination,we knew that.But the grief will hold us for quite a time.In fact,there are people who suffer from it for a long time.My aunt lost her youngest son to suicide.She was totally devastated.Years past and still the pain looked fresh on her.We can’t blame a mom who truly loves her children.They can sacrifice everything just to see them alive and happy.

My nephew lost his dog also because of old age.He cried like a baby while they were digging a place on the ground to burry him.He even threw flowers on his grave,seems overacting but we all have different emotional approaches.We cry in silent when we’re in pain,we burst out of anger on our loss or we can cause pain to others too.It’s all because of the freshness of such feeling that we are inclined at the moment.Only people who knows how to sympathize and empathize can understand.

There are emotional stages we undergo when we lose a loved one.We grieve but afterwards we feel better when we are able to accept the reality.

It’s okay to be in the process.We are just humans with many vulnerabilities.The process may take long depending on the emotional state of an individual and we all can encounter it.

Their are five stages in the Kubler-ross model that is usually felt along that process.

DENIAL

We all are in denial when we learn that we lost somebody dear to us.It’s so hard to accept in reality.I lost my grandpa just the night after I went to visit him and my grandma.When the news was relayed to me,I didn’t believe he’s gone that quick.He had a brain aneurysm while in his bed.That’s one traitor disease for sure.You never know if you will live or not but they said it’s better to die rather than to live like a vegetable.Not everybody can cope up with a stroke attack right away.My grandpa is one of the many,who had it and died right away.It’s hard to believe it since I was just happily conversing with them just hours before it happened.

ANGER

Then comes all the “ifs” in our thoughts.If I slept at my grandparents’ home that night,maybe it didn’t happen or maybe I might have run as quick as I could to their neighbor Doctor who knows his situation for a long time.Maybe,those are just the maybe’s.I remember,before visiting them that time,I had a dream that he’s actually gone without any reason.I told my aunts and uncles about it and all the superstitions came out.Why did you not tell us,they told me,we should have done something to negate it.Then I was thinking,what would be the connection.Come on,it’s health issues.We can’t do anything about it.I became angry to myself,why did I not do something.Maybe my grandpa is still  with us if that was the case.I don’t know.The tears and the pain of anger almost swallowed me.

Bargaining

At times,we keep asking God,maybe you’re just joking.Grandpa is alive right?I keep looking at his chest,for the rise and fall.Call me crazy but I am really praying and hoping that he would suddenly wake up.Asking God to give him another chance to live.But the reality is,his body is already filled with formalin.There is no coming back.Once gone,it’s gone.

DEPRESSION

Temporary feelings like this can engulf us for a while.We become depressed of our loss.It’s not easy to say goodbye to someone dear.They finally put my grandpa’s coffin inside his grave and I really can’t stop crying,so with my siblings.We have a very good connection with him.We love him so dearly.We can’t even utter words after the funeral.His total physical absence made us realize the sadness it brought.He is nowhere to see anymore.He’s already six feet under the ground as we often hear.

ACCEPTANCE

Much to all the grievances brought by that loss,we came to a point of accepting the reality.Life is just temporary.Atleast we were able to see him and live with him for how many years.We enjoyed his being a grandpa to us,we played with him,we heard stories from him.All those good memories he left,we keep on remembering.Life goes on and we are sure that he is in a better place.That convinced us to accept what was gone and live at the present.

We might have different ways of dealing with this kind of circumstances but the point is not to stay in one stage that can cost you to lose your life also.We must see the positive side in every situation and deal with it.If you think you need help,you can ask a helping hand.A doctor,a psychologist or just a trusted confidante can do.

Cherish your life for you and for the other loveones you still have.You can’t change nature but nature can change you if you want it to.