Is it alright to answer back even if it meant to hurt the one involved?
For a long time,she had managed her own lifestyle without anyone bothering. She eats whenever and whatever she wanted, she does her chosen hobbies and wore whatever is comfortable with her that she felt and knew she looked good at.
She is not egoistic but she got used living as it is. Her parents never gave any comment unless it is really against her welfare or if it’s meant intruding the peacefulness of others.
Then suddenly, she met a very nice lady, while living away from her family, whom she embraced like her own mother and kept on reminding or disapproving almost everything she does to the point of invading her privacy. It’s fantabulous having somebody trying to fix you but sometimes it makes her blood boil and she doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.
We all wanted to be the boss of our ownselves but we need to be openminded too..Not all your ideas are right as well as others. You should know how to balance everything that surrounds you,so no one will feel aggravated. Don’t waste a lot of your energy focusing on things that can annoy you. If they wanted you to behave according to their style, you have your own mind to decide.
Although in reality, not all people older than you, can give the best guidance . Sometimes,the younger ones are even better in counseling. Age doesn’t define your intellectual capabilities. You may learn something from their life experiences but it doesn’t mean you have to follow how they were according to how they wanted to picture you. Maybe, you can apply the edited version of their flaws in life to better yourseIf, that’s the benefit learning from others’ mistakes, if you take it on the positive side.
If it’s hard to change them trying to change the way you are, then let them be. The hardest people to deal with are those who believe that making right of their wrongs can’t change anything. All they think is, it’s too late to act and live a better version of themselves. They sure knew their own flaws and what they haven’t done to make it right that’s why they wanted you to do better than them, even if you aren’t even related.
People are becoming the best critics and counselors in judging and in trying to manipulate others. Especially if they are already hesitant or they struggle to change their own life. They wanted you to be how they have wanted themselves before-if and only they can go back and edit it themselves, they might do it as well. It’s the guilt of their past,if we will think on it deeply. Well not everybody for sure, but there are people who are exactly like them. Know how to approach these kind of people according to their personalities.
It would be up to you if you would embrace every teaching from them or learn from it to incorporate in your life. Don’t act as if you don’t need others to manage a good life. We all need the influence of the outside world, from other people specifically, as long as we know how to filter what we needed to acquire from them.
You are you. You know what is right and wrong for yourself. They can’t insist what they want. Everybody is independent nowadays. You have the right to say no when it doesn’t suit your wants.
Let them know that you have your own decisions on what to do with yourself, what hobby you love , food to ingest or clothes to wear. They can’t do anything about it. They don’t control you.You lead your own.
It’s your life anyway. It’s not out of respect but being realistic.It’s better to be straightforward and frank at times to let others know you can stand by your own decisions- that you are confident with yourself.
If you allowed them to treat you the way they do even if it’s against your will, then it’s your fault.
On the other hand, it would be unpleasant also if you always act against their advice but we all are trying to be as considerate as we can.
Be firm whatever your decisions are and be assertive how to tell them directly whatever you intended to.You may hurt them in some ways but it’s a way of letting them learn that theirs are different from yours.
Saying “No means no” and “Yes means yes.” There is no middle answer or maybe answer- only 2 options to choose from as we see. If you say yes or no, then explain. Though sometimes, it’s better to not even elaborate it, if it’s always being repeatedly narrated. It’s infuriating but know when to control your temper.
Just remember to be considerate when it’s needed or when you know it really is. Life is not perfect anyway as well as people.We come with different backgrounds and point of views. We just need to be openminded. Sometimes we have to hurt someone’s feelings inorder to open her eyes to the reality of the situation.
It doesn’t mean that you are bad. You are just being you. The only thing you need to add is respect. Hurt her at some reasonable points , but respect her also.